i don't know what's wrong with me today...

i am so lonely today i don't even know what to do with myself. i haven't felt this low in...maybe years. seriously.

i'm sitting in glen's room while he's back in baltimore. i am supposed to be going back to my own apartment tonight, and i just got ready to leave here to go back, but i got scared. i got this feeling of being utterly alone...as if i could walk away from here, never make it home, and never be missed. i even got myself all pumped up to overcome this fear, but i couldn't leave the building...

six times.

it's ridiculous, i know...but i'm really scared here...all i want in the world is somebody here with me...preferably someone who will hold me and comfort me...but ya know, i'd even do with someone who just knows me and would spend this time with me...i feel like i'm the only person alive in nashville right now...i don't know what the problem is. when i was sick over thanksgiving break i didn't see another human being for 4 days straight...but i never got this lonely...and i've only been alone for 8 hours...sleeping most of it!

i sure wish i wasn't this way...it sounds so unstable and emotional and whatever...it's annoying to me, not to mention i'm sure the people who are trying to help me gain confidence in myself and be stronger in who i am. sorry, glen. do i get a freebie every now and then? is it ok that i'm depressed?

i hate this.

somebody come be with me...i can't handle this.

until then, i'm in glen's room.